Day 13: Process

#30DaysOfSelfCare

Writing for the last few days has been especially difficult for me. Sometimes the words just don’t come and that’s not the best thing when you’re committed to posting daily. So I feel I need to talk through a bit of my process in order to process.

My day usually involves getting up at 5am and doing my regulars to get done. Shower is a good space to think creatively, so I let the juices flow – How am I feeling? What’s on the news? Which flavor ice cream is the best? Who framed Roger Rabbit?

Get dressed, drink coffee, feed cats, drive, work (which is awesome by the way, check out arepp:Theatre for Life).

I grind at the office from 7:30 until 15:30 and make my way home. Traffic’s a good space to think creatively, so I let more juices flow – Is there toilet paper at home? Can I use that as a prop? Will that make a good photo? Did I forget my earphones at work?

I get home to my kitties who demand love and attention. So it’s rubs and foodies for them.

It’s 16:30. Ish. It’s blog time.

I concentrate the day’s creative moments and focus them into a topic. I get out my camera and think of how to best put the topic into a header image. I struggle to get the shot I want because I’m still learning and photography is hard and the light is disappearing and the times running out and I’m starting to panic.

*breathe*

I get a shot. It’s not what I pictured. But I’ll settle. (This takes at least an hour. It’s nearly 6pm.)

Laptop out. This is where it gets sticky. Moving from a visual brain space to writing mode takes time. So for the first twenty minutes I’m banging out paragraphs that read like it was written by Sunday. Sunday is one of my cats. Cats can’t write. They just walk all over the keyboard. (You see where I’m going with this?)

Eventually the words come together. But they’re uncomfortable. Because putting some of your most intimate fears and struggles onto paper means having to rehash and channel those moments again, and that sucks. While I am someone who needs to process aloud, I usually do this with close friends I know and trust. It’s a very different experience when it’s online in public. So it’s hard.

With time, the paragraphs form and the piece takes shape. I sign off with the Black Heart and take a short break. It’s 8pm.

A quick cup of tea and I’m in editing mode; reading, sifting, adding, reading, checking, deleting, linking, reading, re-reading, re-reading. Hopefully I manage to shape it into something ready for publishing the following day.

I give it a title.

Done.

It’s 9pm.

Rinse and repeat.

My days are almost entirely dedicated to work or a working process. It takes so much energy but this routine gives me powers. It allows me to share an experience and be a creative being simultaneously. It’s storytelling. And I love stories. And I hope you like them too.

While creating and curating this blog is incredibly affirming and invites a sense of accomplishment, It’s important to remember balance.

I read the hashtag again, and I’m reminded to take care of myself while blogging about taking care of myself.

Zoey

🖤

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