Goodbyes are difficult and I often struggle to say how I feel to the person in person, because too many feels. So I’m going to try here.
I’m honestly sometimes a terrible human being because I so rarely tell people just how much they matter to me and how much I appreciate them. Not that I’m rude or don’t say thank you or am impolite or kind or whatever. It may have been some weird male emotional behavior thingy I learnt or adopted when growing up, but now I’m actively trying to being better and show some love.
There’s this woman, who is the most amazingly awesomest human being I’ve had the pleasure of knowing. When you speak to her, she has a way of making you feel like the most important person in the world, like you matter. Like even on the kak days, she’s there for you 100%.
I’m going to miss talking to her everyday. She’s kind of sometimes my unofficial occasional bestie-ish person. Well, for me anyway.
(See, I’m even struggling to write down how I feel. Bloody emotions!)
Everyday she calls me “Zoey”, without fail. And as a transgender woman, I can’t tell you how much that means to me. There are so very few people who actively make me feel like I’m visible, like I matter. All the love in that little gesture. And I don’t know how I’m going to survive without that strength, motivation, and life she gives me everyday.
So, to the woman shoveling chocolate into her face on the daily, thank you for your kindness, your conversation, your neurotic moments (there have been many), your love, and for sharing your soul so generously with me.
You’re a once in a lifetime.