In dealing with shit, there are these little spaces, moments of solace during the thick of depression and feels, that can be a saving grace. This morning is such a moment.
I’ve really been struggling with this thing (I’m not quite ready to name it yet) and it’s made me an emotional wreck this last while. We’ll not just one thing — for me, these things usually happen in a series of unfortunate/kak events, and then the thing thing (that we will not name) finally breaks the back of the thing or whatever.
But there are tiny moments when the kakness lifts for just a second. I jump at these, taking the time to revel in the utter relief of the relentlessness that is the chaos of my life (insert dramatic gesture).
It’s been a really good morning so far. I’ve been up and productive around the house since 6:30am. I’ve had 3 cups of coffee already which is giving me all the powers. And I’m so happy to be able to write this blog post outside in the gentle Sunday morning sun.
I often forget just how much I love the outdoors and the natural world. So much of my time is spent at a desk or in front of a screen and that can be isolating. Also, it doesn’t help when you’re an emotional pit of darkness and can’t bare to see another human being. Because humans are kak. So I bought a plant this morning. Because plants don’t suck.
I think taking time to recognise these brief moments of relief are so important. I’m often so caught up in the business and doing of things that it can be easy to forget to acknowledge and appreciate opportunities to just breathe.
Hopefully this feeling will last for the rest of the day and it’ll be a good Sunday overall. If not, it’s been a great morning and I’m grateful for that.