For most of my life I had always felt a slight discomfort in my body and my gender. The discomfort wasn’t problematic in a sense, I most likely developed coping mechanisms to either ignore, bury, or just be okay with it.
That seed of dysphoria manifested in very subtle ways in my life. I always struggled making friends with “very male” boys and never quite understood how those relationship dynamics worked. I was drawn to friendships with girls, feminine designs and forms, and emotional and expressive ways of being. (entire acting career explained)
This was how I functioned and became who I was. I was cisgender man, with emotions.
And everything was fine.
One day I had been scrolling through YouTube looking for something interesting to watch. I somehow stumbled across The Transition Channel. It was curated by a womxn who was doing her PhD in Human Sexuality Education, while helping people transition through her work as a gender therapist.
In this video called “Are you transgender? Male to Female/MtF Part 1”, she proceeded to talk through the qualities associated being transgender and how feelings of dysphoria manifest. I watched this video, and all the things I had felt about my gender and my body suddenly made sense to me. Suddenly I had access to a vocabulary that I had never had before, I was able to explain/understand what I felt and why I felt those things.
And the rest, as they say, is history.
She goes on to explain concepts and give information about gender identity, hormone therapy, coming out, etc. It was a really useful resource for me, particularly in the beginning stages of my transition. And I do recommend having a watch if you feel it may be relevant to you.
There are also some really amazing transgender content creators out there, doing the most to share information as well as their experiences. Some of my favorites include:
Thank god for the internet!